Thursday, April 11, 2013

Katie's "Never the Same"

Story Arc: This story is about a couple who devotes most of their time to their individuals jobs rather than focusing on spending time together.  The only time they really share together is when they go on bike rides together.  One day they decided to ride by the Twin Towers and that was the day the 9/11 attacks happened. From that point on they realize the importance of taking advantage of the time they have together because you never know what might happen. 
Compliments: I liked that you chose a sensational event rather than person/criminal to humanize.  These attacks are always viewed as something horrible and tragic (which they are), but you really brought forth the idea that hard times bring people closer and reveal what's most important to people and in life. Your characters are realistic and the dialogue is believable. You also have some great details scattered throughout the piece. Just going back to this, I really liked that you chose this event to focus on, because this is something that everyone has connection to and knows a lot about.  Not everyone may know about certain serial killers and other criminals, but everyone feels the impact of those attacks. 
Revisions: Overall, I just wanted to know more about these characters. Maybe more dialogue between the couple would reveal more about them, and maybe if we got to see more of what was going through their minds.  Also be aware that you have some tense changes throughout the piece, which is a constant struggle I have as well!  When you are describing the attacks, try to incorporate some more vivid images. You get across the feeling of chaos really well, but this sight was surely super vivid and terrifying, while also awe-inspiring - let us see that!

Great job Katie!

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